Healing the Foundation: Specialized Therapy for Attachment Wounds
Do you find yourself constantly fearing abandonment, even when things are going well? Or perhaps you feel an instinctive urge to pull away and “protect your peace” the moment someone gets too close? These aren’t just personality traits; they are often the echoes of Attachment Wounds.
At Cedar Tree Counseling in Tulsa, OK, we believe that the way we were cared for in our earliest years creates a blueprint for how we give and receive love as adults. If that blueprint was damaged by inconsistency, neglect, or emotional unavailability, your adult relationships may feel like a constant struggle for safety. We specialize in helping you rewrite that blueprint, moving from reactive patterns to secure, lasting connection.
What Are Attachment Wounds?
Attachment wounds occur when our primary caregivers were unable to provide a “secure base” for us during childhood. This doesn’t always mean overt abuse; it often looks like emotional mismatch, “helicopter” parenting that stifles autonomy, or parents who were physically present but emotionally distant.
These early experiences “wire” the nervous system to anticipate rejection or engulfment, leading to three common adult patterns:
- Anxious Attachment: A constant need for reassurance, “clinging” to partners, and a high sensitivity to shifts in a partner’s mood.
- Avoidant Attachment: Prioritizing self-reliance above all else, feeling “suffocated” by intimacy, and withdrawing when emotions get too deep.
- Disorganized (Fearful) Attachment: A painful “come here/go away” cycle where you crave closeness but feel terrified of it simultaneously.
Our Specialized Clinical Approach to Healing
Treating attachment wounds requires more than just “talking it out.” It requires a specialized, relational approach that focuses on the here-and-now experience in the therapy room.
1. The Therapeutic Relationship as a Laboratory
At Cedar Tree Counseling, our specialists use the relationship between you and your therapist as a safe “practice ground.” We provide the Corrective Emotional Experience—a relationship where you are consistently seen, heard, and valued—which helps your nervous system learn that safety with another person is actually possible.
2. Healing the Inner Child & Internal Parts
We often utilize Internal Family Systems (IFS) informed parts work. We help you identify the “part” of you that is terrified of being left or the “part” that shuts down to stay safe. By offering compassion to these younger versions of yourself, we help you lead your life from your “Self” rather than from your wounds.
3. Nervous System Regulation
Attachment wounds are stored in the body. We teach you to recognize when your nervous system is “misfiring” (e.g., mistaking a partner’s need for space as an immediate threat of divorce). Through somatic tools and Brainspotting, we help you de-escalate these physiological triggers so you can respond with clarity rather than reaction.
4. Developing “Earned Security”
The goal isn’t to erase your history, but to achieve Earned Secure Attachment. This means developing the self-awareness, communication skills, and emotional resilience to navigate relationships with confidence. We focus on:
- Setting healthy, non-negotiable boundaries.
- Communicating needs assertively rather than through “protest behaviors.”
- Building a sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on a partner’s validation.
Our Advanced Modalities for Attachment Wounds
Our specialists are trained in the gold-standard treatments for relational trauma:
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): To help couples and individuals identify their “negative cycle” and move toward emotional accessibility.
- Attachment-Focused EMDR: Specifically designed to repair the gaps in early nurturing and process early relational neglect.
- Psychodynamic Therapy: To uncover the unconscious scripts you’ve been following since childhood and consciously choose a new path.
Nurturing the Roots of Connection
You weren’t born “difficult,” and you aren’t “bad at relationships.” You simply learned to survive with the tools you were given. Healing your attachment wounds is the ultimate act of self-care—not just for you, but for the people you love.
Build a Love That Feels Like Home.
Are you tired of the same painful relationship cycles? It is time to address the roots of your struggle. Our Oklahoma-based therapists and counselors are ready to help you find the security and peace you’ve been searching for. Contact Cedar Tree Counseling today to schedule your confidential appointment and begin the journey toward secure, healthy, and fulfilling connection.