Supporting Children’s Emotional & Behavioral challenges

When a child is struggling with intense outbursts, persistent defiance, or unexplained withdrawal, it is rarely a sign of “bad parenting” or a “bad kid.” Instead, it is often a signal that a child’s nervous system is overwhelmed by demands that exceed their current internal resources.

At Cedar Tree Counseling in Tulsa, OK, we move beyond superficial behavior modification. We look at the whole child, integrating neurobiology, developmental psychology, and family systems to help children move from “acting out” to “settling in.”

Beyond the Surface: Behavior as a Language

In a clinical setting, we view a child’s behavior as their most honest form of communication. When a child cannot put words to their frustration, fear, or sensory overload, they “speak” through their actions.

Our work focuses on decoding this language. We help parents distinguish between “Won’t” (a lack of compliance) and “Can’t” (a lack of physiological or cognitive skill). Most “behavioral problems” are actually regulation problems—the child has simply lost the ability to stay within their “Window of Tolerance.”

The Neurobiology of Child Development

To support a child, we must respect the hierarchy of the developing brain. A child’s brain develops from the “bottom up”—starting with the brainstem (survival), then the limbic system (emotion), and finally the prefrontal cortex (logic and impulse control).

• The Survival Brain: If a child feels unsafe or threatened, the logic centers of their brain physically “go offline.”
• The Emotional Brain: Children are driven by their big feelings. Without an adult to help them navigate these, they become “flooded.”
• The Logic Brain: This is the last part to develop (not fully maturing until the mid-20s). Expecting a child to “be logical” during a meltdown is like asking them to fly a plane before they can walk.

Our Integrative Clinical Approach

We utilize several expert-level modalities to help children and their parents find a path forward:

1. Play-Based Interventions

Play is the natural language of children. Through structured and expressive play, we allow children to “work through” fears and traumas in a symbolic way, providing them with a sense of mastery over their internal world.

2. Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS)

Based on the work of Dr. Ross Greene, we believe that “kids do well if they can.” We move away from rewards and punishments and toward a model of solving the problems that cause the behavior in the first place.

3. Somatic & Sensory Regulation

For many children, behavioral challenges are rooted in Sensory Processing differences. We help identify if a child is “sensory seeking” or “sensory avoiding” and provide somatic tools—such as deep pressure, rhythmic movement, or temperature shifts—to help them find calm.

The “Parent-Child” Feedback Loop

We believe the most powerful tool for a child’s healing is a regulated parent. We focus on the concept of Co-Regulation: a child’s nervous system “borrows” the calm of an adult’s nervous system.